You can’t pee on your problems to solve them.

But there are other things you can do.

Isabella Grandic
4 min readJan 8, 2020

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I once had a (virgin) mojito, and it lead to the most excruciating pain of my life. I still have nightmares about lime, soda water and sugar.

I was 12 and in Cuba for a family vacation. The great thing about Cuban-all-inclusive-resorts is the ability to exploit the free drinks. I had lots (don’t take this the wrong way, I was 12).

As you may infer, I eventually had to pee. We were on the beach, and the hotel room was too far. There were no public washrooms nearby. But there was the ocean. I stared into my mojito’s soul and chugged it down my throat. Then, I ran towards the water.

It was cold, but I sprinted in. I got to a sufficient depth of water and started my deed.

I have a complicated relationship with urination (specifically in the Caribbean). A few years prior, in Mexico, I decided it would be amusing to pee on the pool deck. It felt less clever when my mom got a $1000 fine.

But this time was worse. I emptied my bladder, then I started to swim away. That’s when the pain struck me. My muscles tensed up, and I couldn’t feel my right leg. I was breathing as if I was intensely blowing out birthday candles. I thought a shark was eating me.

I was screaming in pain. I had one functioning(ish) leg, but I managed to drag myself out.

My right leg was entirely red, scratched up and swollen.

Not one, not two, but FIVE jellyfish stung me.

For the next five hours, it felt like 12 people were hitting my leg with a baseball bat and electrocuting me.

I had several lifeguards try to help my pain. They put strange lotions, medication, and substances on there.

You don’t even understand how badly I wanted there to be a ‘one pill solution’ to my pain immediately. I wanted to pop a capsule and for all my worries to go away. Yeah, no.

When gelatinous members place their tentacles on you, several things are happening to your body at once. Your nervous system is having a spasm, your skin is itchy, and there’s a whole lot of inflammation. There are a lot of your biological pathways under attack! The situation is too involved for a one-size-fits-all solution.

FYI urinating on jellyfish stings doesn’t work, but it’s engaging to try. The reality…

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Isabella Grandic

Aspiring healthcare infrastructure designer, technologist and scientist.

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