I’ve been going through a personal and emotionally tumultuous time. This has triggered an intense but anxious set of reflections: what do I want? Why does this pattern in my life exist? How can I overcome my cyclic hurdles?
To combat these difficult questions, I have explored a lot of emotional and psychological concepts. I can improve on all them. My goal in sharing this ‘dictionary for emotional resilience’ is for myself and others to have a rapid diagnostic tool.
In the next few months I am really challenging myself to stay on top of these concepts. It might be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, frankly.
I have a complicated set of internal processes that can breed insecurity (high ambition, feeling complicated and emotionally un-lovable, determination, high expectations, incredible memory/social debt-credit accounting system… aka a great way to erode trust in others… and a strong sense of fantasy). My primitive brain has gotten too comfortable with emotional fragility.
During this transition phase I’m doing a 3 week write, reel or tweet challenge. Everyday creating some form of content. For the past 24h I have been swamped with so much anxious reflection. To combat it, I created this framework and wrote this article.
Base of the Pyramid: Self-Confidence
I define emotional resilience as the ability to resist emotionally-triggering situations from external circumstances or internal overreactions (e.g., our brain’s ancient programming).
We must begin with confidence (interchangeably: self-love or esteem).
If you don’t have confidence, you’ll succumb to strong feelings, put yourself down and invest in detrimental behaviours because you don’t believe in yourself.
For example: beauty. If you are confident that you can be beautiful, you will strive towards this goal by keeping yourself clean, ironing your clothes, brushing your hair, and so on.
If you are not confident that you can be beautiful, you will fall into the trap of not trying. Your brain will think: why eat healthy? That won’t change anything, I should eat skittles instead.