3 phrases I’m cutting out of my life
What you say influences more than what other people think of you. It influences what you think of yourself (including your mindset and motivations). These are your habits of mouth.
‘Linguistic reprogramming’ can be as simple as taking a negative statement and converting it to a positive one.
Without changing my circumstances, I can adjust how I think about my them. E.g., “I am bad at running” can convert to “I could become better at running if I ran twice a week.” In the first, I am in a victim. In the second, I see opportunity. The status quo is the same: my running skills aren’t good. The outlook is different.
This positive reframing is powerful because it brings me hope. I’m not good at running now, but I could be later.
For any thought, almost certainly, I can rephrase it in a more positive way. But, there are also general statements that I could omit/reduce that reframe situations without changing the specifics.
This is my linguistic reprogramming compass 🧭
Should implies that someone or something else is telling you what to do.
Think about the sentence: ‘I should study computer science.’ Who is telling me that I should do it? My parents? Society? My ego? A mentor?
When I use should I outsource the decision maker. I am less critical about evaluating what I am doing because I am listening to an authority instead of myself.
For most people in the developed west, there’s nothing really, that you should do. Most things are coulds. With the exception of generic morals that apply to everyone (e.g. you should not murder).
Everything else is a could.
I could study computer science. I could start a blog. I could go out on a date.
Could implies that there are options and that I am in control and therefore, I can take responsibility. A step up from this is using the statement “I will” and actually doing it.
I’ve been using should as a trigger to think about who or what has defined success for me and what I am pursuing. By switching to could (or can or will), I move the power from someone else’s opinion to my own.